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What is the funniest joke you've been told that you still think about to this day?

Last Updated: 28.06.2025 09:34

What is the funniest joke you've been told that you still think about to this day?

“As did I,” the first bloke says, getting very excited. “And what year did you graduate?”

At that point, a woman enters, stands at the other end, and orders a drink. Brian, the bartender says, “Oh, Vicky, it’s going to be a long, tiring night.”

“The Murphy twins are drunk again.”

Why am I not losing weight despite eating 1500 calories daily? Male 24y 161kg 174cm and obese. My calorie tracking is on point, I mostly eat prepackaged food and occasionally cook for myself measuring only the raw ingredients, yes including the oil.

I’m from Dublin, I am.”

The first fellow is now beside himself. “The good Lord must be smiling on us. Imagine that the two of us should be meeting here, having grown up on the same street, gone to the same school, and graduated in the same year.”

“Now why would you be saying that, Brian?”

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“Faith and begorrah. What a small world. So did I. And to what school would you school would you have been going?”

“Yes, that I am,” says the second.

“A lovely little area of the old part of town, McCleary Street.”

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“Mother Mary. And on what street in Dublin did you live?”

Two blokes are sitting at the end of a bar. One orders a drink. The other one says, “From your voice, I’d guess you’re from Ireland.”

“So am I. And from where in Ireland might you be?” says the first.

The Labour Party wants to put the Winter fuel allowance and the £800,000 of gifts received by ministers behind us. Is this a real option for the people who will suffer as our new masters unapologeticly feast on freebies?

“Oh, let me see now. ’Twas 1964, it was.”

“Well, to St. Mary’s, of course.”